I have resolutions. I really sat back and thought about them this year. In past years, I would write out my resolutions and then tape the piece of paper on the door to my bedroom. It’s kind of like having my own little reformation, except that I would be Martin Luther AND the Catholic Church. That piece of paper usually stays up until February. That’s about when I get frustrated at the lack of progress I am making with any of the resolutions and rip it down.
I decided to take a different approach to my issues this year. I tend to use the word “improve” a lot. I want to “improve” myself emotionally and physically and mentally. It’s the wrong way to look at it. So, this year, I am trying to think of myself as a city. Just hear me out. Imagine a city. It’s never really been a beautiful city, but, at one point it was a nice city. Fun to visit. I feel like people had a good time when they drove through it. But now, after years of neglect, the city is a bit run down. Attendance is down at the city college. Gangs have taken over the mall. The mayor is addicted to sniffing glue. All bad things. What I need to do is, change those things. I can’t look at it like some New Agey improvement thing or I won’t do it. I have to rebuild those parts of the city. Get the gangs jobs at the local Corndog Shanty. Kick out the mayor, but get him into a nice treatment program. And offer better classes at Shawn U. So how do I do that in terms of reality? I’m glad I asked.
1. Get in shape. The three most written words in resolution history. I just have to do it. If I see snacks or candy out in the open, I WILL make a beeline for it. I have to wrestle myself away from it. I’ve already had a few close calls in the last 24 hours. So far, just saying, “NO!” as soon as I start walking toward the bad food has helped. I have also put up pictures of myself from 50 pounds ago all around my apartment. Sadly, that still wasn’t great shape, but it’s a good start. I think I’ve done it before, but it will work this time. I have to believe in the healing power of nostalgia.
2. Read more. For some reason, I got really focused on watching dvds last year. It took me away from books in a major way. Not sure why, but I seem to have my shit together more when I am constantly reading. Got to do it.
3. Financially check myself before I wreck myself. I am ridiculously bad with money. On the rare occasion when I have a little extra to spend, I will always buy something I don’t need. This year I would like to go back to having important things to fill up my life and my living space. Better clothes, higher quality items, the things and objects that should help lure me back into the world. Notice how I’ve avoided mentioning that I actually have a resolution to be more materialistic? Oh shit, I just mentioned it.
